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Saturday, October 16, 2021
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    You’ve Been Labelling Farts Wrong Your Whole Life

    Alamy/@schwiftyshay/TikTok

    In the news you never realised was so important to know, a TikToker has exposed that we have been labelling farts wrong our entire lives. 

    In a beautifully designed PowerPoint presentation on the subject, which shows extreme dedication to what is apparently an extremely worthy cause, a TikToker’s boyfriend explained to her why the entire population has been misnaming farts, and has been doing so for their whole existence, it seems.

    In what appears to be a ‘Ted Talk’ series, the boyfriend reveals to his girlfriend and her followers how we have all been ‘lied to’.Portrait of frustrated teenage boy pinching, covering nose with disgust on his face due to bad smell isolated over white background - (Bulat Silvia/ Alamy)Alamy

    In the video posted on his girlfriend’s account (@schwiftyshay), the man can be heard starting to explain: ‘So, listen to this, it’s considered pooping when your body pushes solid waste out of the butt…’

    @schwiftyshayHe’s got a point ##boyfriends ##tedtalk ##fart ##powerpoint

    ♬ original sound – shaybot

    To accompany his talk, the man shows extreme dedication to the cause, by using a PowerPoint to accentuate his argument.

    He goes on to say that it is ‘also considered pooping when your body pushes liquid waste out of the butt’.

    The boyfriend even adds a handy note, that the term for waste itself is ‘diarrhea’, for those who weren’t aware. But he explains how no one says their ‘diarrhea-ing’, but instead that they are ‘pooping diarrhea’.

    [jwplayertwf0pq8t]

    In an impressive university lecturer style, he then asks his audience, ‘Now I ask you, it is considered what, when your body pushes gaseous waste out of the butt?’, leaving a line on the slide shows for his girlfriend to fill in the blank.

    He then reveals that the answer ‘farting’ is a lie.

    ‘So you might be thinking to yourself, well, if it’s not farting, what is it?’ he questioned.

    TedTalk Fart - @schwiftyshay/TikTok@schwiftyshay/TikTok

    According to this dedicated man, the correct terminology is actually ‘pooping’, and that ‘solid liquid gas is all the same’.

    He can be heard noting that the term for waste itself is ‘fart’, again, adding a handy little bullet point below the original sentence on the screen.

    ‘You poop poop, you poop diarrhea, you poop a fart,’ he concluded.

    The post has since amassed over 1.4 million likes, 13,800 comments and 91,000 shares, with other users flooding to the TikTok in amusement of the detailed PowerPoint and explanation to an issue they never knew they so desperately needed to hear about. One said: ‘He brings up a solid point. And a liquid one. And a gaseous one.’

    Another wrote: 

    The government has been really quiet since this was posted.

    A third commented: ‘Society isn’t ready for this one.’

    Who knew that a mere fart could cause such controversy and that the topic of a fart could take on such importance to make up a whole Ted Talk? However, the layout of that PowerPoint was truly beautiful, his pace was brilliant and he added in a perfect amount of rhetorical questions – someone give this man a job as lecturer.

     

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